Hope you’re well. Suck it.

But that’s not what this is about. This is about another accomplishment. A HUGE accomplishment.

The wife and I have now seen every episode of the “Doctor Who” relaunch. Every. Blessed. One.

Ho-Lee Shit! I’ve always been a huge nerd for the filmed entertainment. And I’m not just talking about the popular TV and movies, and not just the stuff from my lifetime. You wanna talk Desilu? We can do that. You wanna talk Sheldon Leonard and Danny Thomas? I can do that too. And not just the good stuff either. I’ve seen “My Mother The Car.” I OWN the complete run of “Manimal,” “Automan,” too. Shit, I’ve even got “AfterMASH.” I’m not saying I know everything there is to know, and I’m not saying I’ve seen everything there is to see. But I can assure you that I’ve seen enough…DECADES WORTH…of TV to know what I’m talking about. With that in mind, I need to take this opportunity to say something publicly…on the record.

David Tennant is one of the finest actors the world has ever seen. Period.

On the surface, this little sci-fi show about the British guy and his phone box shouldn’t be this good. It just shouldn’t. But David Tennant brought more to this show than one actor should have a right to bring. Unfuckingbelieveable.

Look, this stuff is old news to a lot of you, and I get that. And far more literate people than me have reviewed every individual episode to death. So, rather than give you my hackneyed “Doctor Who Compendium,” I’d like to take this opportunity to say hello to some old friends…BULLET POINTS!

(Yes…I know I do that a lot. It amuses me. Bugger off.)

-Christopher Eccleston. You sir, are wonderful. Your Doctor was great, and I’ve mentioned before how you were a perfect choice for the rebirth of The Doctor. You have the face of a serial killer, but you do “whimsy” way better than I expected. Towards the end of your run, when the Daleks had Rose and you were rattling off the list of things you were gonna do to them, that was…to steal a phrase…Fantastic! We were upset when we got to the end of your season because we were gonna miss you so badly. And we did. Until you regenerated. More on that in a bit.

-Billie Piper. Sweet li’l Rose Tyler. The audience identification character, and the only point of reference we had for how we were supposed to relate to The Doctor. At first, I thought Rose was just gonna be a regular old slacker. I’d like to publicly state how wrong I was. Rose Tyler had balls, kiddies. Big ‘uns. She came along quick, and I don’t think I had any idea just how important Rose would wind up being. Or how good. She almost…ALMOST…made me cry. Her departure (the first one) was some heart-wrenching television.

-David F’n Tennant. I don’t know what his middle name is, but being British I assume he has two of three of them. I would like to lobby Mr. Tennant to legally change his middle name to “F’n,” because to me he will always be David F’n Tennant. This guy makes great TV like I light cigarettes. Often and effortlessly…and sometimes while wearing Chuck Taylors. I can honestly say that not every episode of his run was perfection, but there isn’t a single bad one. And that’s an accomplishment. Recommended viewing includes: “Blink,” “Love and Monsters,” “The Unicorn and the Wasp,” “The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit,” the two-parter with Jessica Stephenson-Hynes, the name of which escapes me, and the five specials. And I’m sure I’ll think of ten more as soon as I hit “Publish.” Phenomenal…just phenomenal.

-Freema Agyeman. Martha Jones. I don’t think she gets as much love as she should, because Martha Jones wound up being quite the badass. From her first appearance as Martha to her eventual position in U.N.I.T., Martha not only benefited from her time as a companion, she might also be the only one who didn’t have her life completely ruined (inadvertently) by The Doctor.

-Catherine Tate as Donna Noble. Okay, I love Rose Tyler…I do. but Donna Noble was just great. I’m sitting here actually smiling, and all I’ve done is type her name. How is Catherine Tate not the biggest megastar on the planet? From her Christmas special on, Donna Noble was amazing. Her pantomime upon seeing The Doctor at Adipose Industries is everything funny should be, and she would never disappoint from then on. I find it no coincidence that some of Tennant’s best episodes were when he was traveling with Donna. She was absolute perfection, and I miss her badly. Even though her mind could melt at any given moment.

I’m not saying that everything good about this show was just because of these guys. Oh, there were others. Captain Jack Harkness for example. Freaky, square jawed, pansexual Jack Harkness. I haven’t seen “Torchwood” yet…but it’s coming, and I can’t wait. I was a Captain Jack fan from the first time he showed up, and he never let me down. He might’ve creeped me out once or twice…but he never let me down. (SPOILERS!) So, if Capt. Jack is The Face of Boe, and The Face of Boe is God, which I’m led to believe he is, that would mean that Captain Jack Harkness is God! I have no problem with that…none whatsoever.

And what of our companions’ extended families? I didn’t care for Mickey Smith the first couple times around, but he really surprised me towards the end. He stepped up when it counted, and I have to say I became a fan. Same with Jackie Tyler. I was shocked when she became anything other than the town mattress, and I think any flaws in your parenting go away when you’re willing to jump between parallel worlds. And I can’t say enough good things about Wilfred Mott, Donna’s grandfather. I know he fucked up right there at the end, but he was willing to stay and take his lumps. Wilfred Mott was all man, and a welcome addition to The Doctor’s Army of Idiots.

Every Superman needs a Lex Luthor, and John Simm was terrifyingly terrifying in his turn as The Master. From his beginnings as a smooth politician to his (SPOILERS!) reappearance as a deranged and broken Time Lord, The Master was amazing, and one of TV’s better villains. I’ve been joking that he looks like Simon Pegg if Simon Pegg quit drinking, but I’m American…so all Brits look alike to me.

Seriously…WATCH THIS SHOW. It’s still on now, with Matt Smith taking a turn as The Eleventh Doctor, and Karen Gillan as his faithful companion, Amy Pond. It’s good stuff, and I’m trying not to let the fact that Smith isn’t Tennant or Eccleston count against him. After all, he’s the one that got me hooked in the first place. It’s a great, great show. If you’re across the pond, it runs…whenever it runs over there, I don’t know. But for The Yanks, it’s on BBC America every Saturday night.

And it plays a lot better without commercials.

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“But Casey…why are you so far from Big Stinkin’ World Headquarters?” Because a change of scenery never hurt anyone, that’s why. Except maybe Sonny Corleone. Or Boba Fett. Or John F.–you know what? It’s not important. What is important is making the best of the time I’ve had away from home. And I have definitely done that. Wifey turned me on to an awesome store here in Birmingham. It’s called “What’s on 2nd?” and I’m here to tell you…everything. Everything is what’s on 2nd. I’d love to go back when I have a little more disposable income, but I did find one gem…

Yep. “Close Encounters” Board Game. How awesome is this? Very…very f’n awesome. The board is an absolutely beautiful picture of the approaching ships above Devil’s Tower, and the game play looks to be some hybrid of Othello, Checkers, and that weird 3D chess game from The Next Generation. I haven’t played it yet…but it’s coming.

As I’ve made clear, I loved, loved, loved Iron Man 2. The thing that’s been driving me nuts is the apparent lack of a proper Mickey Rourke action figure. I can’t think of another movie he would’ve ever been in that would’ve had a toy tie-in, so I thought surely I’d get a little plastic Mickey for this one.

I was wrong.

Apparently there is no proper Whiplash figure, except for one of those Super Hero Squad dealies, which I bought on sight. We had to go to Target last night, and I saw the only thing that is acceptable in lieu of a proper figure.

Mickey Rourke BobbleHead, bitches! Featuring glow in the dark whips, and molded from that Space Age Polymer that his face was made of a few years back! This makes me so happy. So very, very happy. This should tide me over until those “Harry Angel with Kung Fu Grip” toys come along. Which will be never.

We’ve been completely immersed in The Doctor lately, having just finished up David Tennant’s first season as the Tenth Doctor. Wowee Wow Wow! When (SPOILER ALERT!) he and Rose spoke for the last time, it was just…Wow. We have gotten as far as The Runaway Bride XMas special, and will dive headlong in to the next season in the next day or two, I would imagine. Eccleston was great, and Tennant has been amazing so far. And Matt Smith ain’t too shabby his damned self. And I’m so glad he didn’t bang Amy Pond. That would’ve just been…eww.

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So…did you see “Iron Man 2?” And did it rock your face off?

Let’s just stop for a second and think about this. The two greatest movie comebacks this side of John Travolta, two amazing actors at the top of their game, and we get to see them together with in the confines of a comic book movie?!? 2010, I think you and me are gonna get along just fine. And I want Mickey and Downey together in something else like yesterday!

I can’t see any real point in doing a straight review of this bad boy, so let’s just…wait…what’s that smell? It smells like…BULLET POINTS!

-This is the theme to Shandling’s comeback/
The opening theme to Shandling’s comeback/
This is the music that you hear/
When Shandling makes a comeback!

Okay, I really don’t think this is going to lead to a whole slate of new Garry Shandling projects, but he absolutely ruled it as Sen. Stern, the man who demands Tony Stark turn the Iron Man suit over to the federal government. I was watching Fox the night “It’s Garry Shandling’s Show” premiered, and I’ve been hooked ever since. I’m just glad Shandling left his black felt dot at home.

-Sam Rockwell, you just might be our best working actor. Justin Hammer was great, and Sam even got to work in some Chuck Barris moves! Now see “Moon.”

-Theory: Nick Fury is a hologram.

-Theory: Nick Fury is a badass.

-Theory: That last one is more fact than theory. Either way, I would totally join his super-secret boy band.

-Tony’s arrival to the Stark Expo? That’s how you make an entrance.

-I thought it was real nice of Jon Favreau to let me pick all the music for this one. “The Magnificent Seven?” Hell yes you did!

-One of my bigger hopes for these Avengers movies is that they give Clark Gregg more and more to do in each film. Team Coulson!

-I was amazed with the first one that Favreau made a movie in which Gwyneth Paltrow didn’t irritate me. Now he’s done that twice, and also found something redeeming in a post-Ghost World Scarlett Johanssen. Or however you spell it. I’ve never gotten the fuss, but homegirl can hand out a beatin’.

-WAR MACHINE. That’s it…just…WAR MACHINE! Ironically, I believe he will bite the hand that feeds him. Better watch out.

-When Fury is debriefing Tony at the end, did you notice the map of Africa on one of the monitors? Did you notice that Wakanda was marked on said map? And did you know that the King of Wakanda is none other than T’challa…the BLACK PANTHER?

-Did you notice Project Pegasus in the crate of Howard Stark’s stuff? IRON FIST?!? Don’t tease me, universe.

-Also, I’m willing to bet that the new element Tony created was vibranium. The same vibranium that would be used to complete Captain America’s shield, which we clearly saw a prototype of in Tony’s workspace.

-It might also be worth mentioning that Captain America is one of the only humans who has been able to lift Mjolnir. The pieces are assembling…just like The Avengers.

What a great movie. And Favreau is already hinting that part three will feature The Mandarin. Ten rings…sound familiar? And the Super 8 trailer looks pretty badass, too.

Meanwhile, Tony Stark isn’t the only one dealing with supervillains. Wow…what a terrible segue…

This week’s installment of Doctor Who saw The Doctor running into Dr. River Song again (?), a meeting which led to the return…of the WEEPING ANGELS! This was the first half of a two-parter, and it. Was. Awesome. So, in the future, the church is eerily similar to the military, and one Angel has survived. Amy falls under their control (kinda) and UH-OH, there are actually caves and caves full of these little bastards. And we actually see The Doctor fire a gun! I’m under the impression this is something that happens next to never, so it was kinda cool to see him arm himself America-style. Next week promises to be extra awesome. Seriously…I’m not too big to admit that the Angels creep me out.

If it seems like I’m glossing over The Doctor, it’s for good reason. See, we watched more than one episode this week. In fact, we have watched twelve additional episodes of The Doctor since last we met. The Missus and I have gotten our hands on Christopher Eccleston’s 2005 revival of The Doctor and I am bowled over by how good it is. I think he was the perfect guy to bring him back, because he has all the madcap stuff you want in a Doctor, as well as being able to pull off the modern day aesthetic they were clearly shooting for. He’s great. And Billie Piper does a fantastic job as Rose Tyler. All that’s left for us to do now is finish up the season finale two parter, and by then the David Tennant stuff should be here. And that I CANNOT wait for.

Yeah, we’re pretty sick with The Doctor.

Why do I love this show? Simple. Outside of the fact that I haven’t seen a bad episode yet, and outside of the fact that it is so well written and unbelievably well acted, this show has quite literally everything. It breaks free of the traps that a lot of bad sci-fi falls into, in that it is about so much more than good guys in space ships and creepy aliens who want to destroy the world. And yes, I know that the Whoniverse is deeply steeped in that stuff, but the difference is that when he’s not fighting Daleks and Cybermen he’s traveling back in time to fight zombies with Charles Dickens. Or he’s going forward to watch the world burn. Yeah, can you tell we’ve been watching The Ninth Doctor?

Although it does kind of make me feel stupid. I’ve been waiting for years for a show like this to come along…turns out it premiered in 1963.

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What of this weekend? Well, recent events really screwed my week up so I didn’t watch nearly the amount of stuff I normally would’ve. Thankfully the “Chicken and a Nap Saturday Extravaganza” ended just in time for this week’s installment of Doctor Who!

Previously, you learned that I am recently hooked on The Doctor, with no chance of recovery in sight. American audiences were treated to the third installment in the new season this weekend, a little episode entitled “Victory of The Daleks.”

CAUTION…SPOILERS AHEAD!

You learned at the end of last week’s episode that something was coming this week involving…wait for it…Winston Churchill and THE DALEKS?! Word around the Intertubes was that this week’s episode was the weakest of the new shows. I can see how people would think that, but this episode served a much more mechanical purpose than the others. This episode introduced the new race of Daleks! In short order, they cleansed the Dalek race of the inferior original Daleks (and no, the obvious Third Reich overtones were not lost on me) and set their sights on our resident Time Lord.

Seems as though a British scientist had convinced Churchill that his “Project Ironsides” would be the best weapon with which to defeat the Nazis as they attempted to seize the UK. Of course Winston calls the Doctor, and OF COURSE the Doctor freaks out, because this is clearly not his first rodeo with The Daleks. (Side note: I suddenly want to go to a Dalek Rodeo.) As the episode unfolds, we find out that the British scientist fella is actually a Dalek construct and a walking, talking bomb, t’boot. He was sent by the Daleks to infiltrate British intelligence and cause Churchill to summon The Doctor so they can get all Daleky and exterminate all the non-Daleks and such. The Doctor makes his way to the Dalek ship only to find out that they have secretly been cloning Dalek DNA and–taadaaa–there is a new race of Daleks, all in shiny iMac colors.

Long story(?) short(?), The Doctor stops the bomb doctor from exploding, but the Daleks get away. This is exciting, because you just KNOW they’re gonna be back this year. But not next week. If I’m not mistaken, next week we get the return of the Weeping Angels! Again, I’m kind of a newbie, but I know enough to be terrified.

The discussion around Big Stinkin’ World HQ since then has been on the relevance of the cracks we have seen at the end of every episode so far. And why is it exactly that Amy Pond should remember The Daleks?
It’s THEORY TIME!

(Bear in mind, I’m watching these on BBC America, so I’m running a week behind.)

So, it’s been established that Amy doesn’t have parents, only an absentee aunt. The wife and I have put our heads together, and we’ve come up with something along these lines: The Daleks killed Amy’s parents, explaining why it would be a huge deal that she doesn’t remember them, and Amy’s aunt is in fact a future version of Amy herself. Somehow or another it’s Amy causing the cracks in space and time. Whether it is because of Future Amy imposing on Past Amy or vice versa, I’m not sure just yet. But I think it’s safe to say that is isn’t The Doctor or the TARDIS doing it, so Amy has to be the only option. There is also another theory that Amy’s aunt could be a former companion of The Doctor making time and space go all wonky. Again, we’re both still new to the Whoniverse (I feel like I’m probably not the first person to call it that, but I’m giggling as I write it nonetheless.) so everything I think I know could be completely wrong. And that is a huge part of the appeal.

“A Nightmare On Elm Street” came out this week. As promised, I didn’t see it. You can just consider me the Sergeant-At-Arms on “Team Robert.” And no matter what a hack Wes Craven has turned into over the last fifteen years, there is no filmmaker I hate worse than Michael Bay. (Maybe Renny Harlin, but to call him a filmmaker is like calling me a hair model.) And I know, he didn’t necessarily direct the new “Nightmare,” but that’s just like saying George Lucas didn’t direct “Empire,” He did, even though he didn’t.

I talk from time to time how much I’d like to see Rob Zombie direct a completely original script that he didn’t write, and shoot it all on the same cameras (or film stock, in some cases), with no creepy lighting, without Sherri Moon, and with someone else doing the music. I firmly believe the guy can direct movies, but he’s stuck so far up his own ass that the good ideas rarely see the light of day anymore. (H2, anyone?) I have a similar opinion of Michael Bay. I’d love to see what he could do with unknown actors, no explosions, no fucking CGI, and a budget in the thirty million dollar range. I’m sure he’d be exposed as nothing more than a hack computer programmer, and couldn’t figure out a way to tell a simple story in a compelling way. I’m just so tired of his “SlamBangSplosionOhMyGodTiresAreSquealingAndTheWorldHangsInTheBalance” crap. Between that and his systematic remaking of my youth, the guy just irks me. Can you tell?

Meanwhile, George Romero still can’t get a budget. Or DePalma. Or Coppola. And Robert Rodriguez has yet to need one. (I’m aware that I bring up that Romero/budget thing fairly often. I do that in my day-to-day life, too.)

You look Time Lord.

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Look…it’s bad. It’s real bad. I know that people in other parts of the country might look at Tennessee and its rainfall and think maybe it’s not that big of a deal. Maybe in Florida or Washington State, but in TN we are in no way equipped to deal with flooding. Frankly, we’ve been a state since 1796 and we’ve never experienced rainfall like this. Not even close. For example, in most parts of Tennessee homeowners are not required to purchase flood insurance. Simply put, for most of us in TN it’s just not a necessity. Things like this don’t happen here. Meanwhile, there are a couple cities worth of people who have essentially lost their homes and won’t have any money coming their way to help them rebuild. I’ve seen neighborhoods full of flooded houses and homes knocked off of their foundations on TV all weekend, not to mention the house that actually made its way to I-40 and collided with an 18-wheeler.

You read that last part right.

I’m not about to go on a rant about how the insurance companies are screwing over the TN homeowner because that’s not that this is about and (let me make this clear) that’s not what I believe. It’s just a testament to how screwed a lot of people are right now. Eleven people are dead as of 10:30AM Nashville time. Several more are missing, not to mention those who have been displaced. It’s bad. You’re not supposed to see water rescue after water rescue in Tennessee (or anywhere else, really), especially not in cases where boats were sent down the Interstate just to get people to dry land ON THE SAME ROAD.

This stuff just doesn’t happen here.

If there is a positive, it’s that I was able to contact just about everyone I know in Nashville, and everyone is fine. I even had one friend of mine taking a leisurely stroll along the bulging banks of the Cumberland as the river was approaching flood stage. Genius. I don’t know anyone in Nashville personally who lost so much as a roof shingle, and I am so happy that that was the case.

What now? Well, they’re not sure yet. The weather should give us a break for a couple of days, and the extent of the flooding should be known later on today. What can you do to help? A lot of things. I know everybody has to live their own lives and a lot of people, especially these days, have limited time and money and that’s okay. I think that the biggest thing anyone can do to help today is to stay off the roads. People have their obligations, I get that, but we need to leave the roads to the professionals today. The scope of the loss in TN isn’t quite known yet. We don’t know the condition of a lot of roads and bridges in Tennessee today, and we won’t until people who know how this stuff works are left alone to work. Don’t go sightseeing today. Don’t make the damage into a tourist stop today. If you’re going to lose your job if you don’t go to work, then by all means go. But if you can stay home, do. If you’re not going out to help someone clean up, then don’t go out.

This is no time for your curiosity. Not today.

I was watching the news last night and they did a “man on the street” type deal with some jag who was vacationing here from Chicago. This half a nothing had the balls to complain about he and his buddies had driven 500 miles from Chicago for a “little fun and to see Nashville” and he was upset that all the bars and restaurants were closed downtown. Again…this guy was a tourist who had a problem with the fact that he couldn’t get plastered on 2nd Avenue because parts of the city were or would soon be underwater. I don’t know this guy, I’ve never seen him, and I don’t even know his name. But I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a face more in need of a good punching. To call you a douchebag is an insult to douchebags everywhere. Go home if you can. You’re not needed.

Yeah, this went on a touch longer than I wanted. Gonna get to work on the usual fun stuff directly.

Stay safe. Keep your backs together.

Got some brand new TV addictions this week, which is a good thing because I’m just not sure I’m watching enough television these days. I have found two new shows that have already sucked me in, and both earn the Big Stinkin’ Seal Of Approval. First…

Justified. Tuesday nights on FX. Ho-Lee Shit! I think we’re only about six weeks into the series and this thing might have already hit its stride. It stars Timothy Olyphant as Raylan Givens, US Marshall. After gunning down a thug in Miami (a killing which Raylan says was “justified…” get it?), he finds himself transferred back home to Eastern Kentucky. It turns out things really don’t get that much easier for him, as he is now a big fish in an exceptionally small pond and everyone has heard about the Miami killing. Also, a potential murder suspect wants to bone him, his dad’s a prick (but he’s played by Raymond Barry, so that’s awesome), and his buddy from about 15 years prior has now become a big muckety muck in the world of White Supremacy!

This show is pretty badass. There is a never ending line of people who need to be shot, and I’m pretty sure FX told them they could say “shit” as much as they want as long as they don’t use any other swear words. It’s actually kind of funny, the language isn’t all that bad (especially by cable standards), but every other word on the show is “shit.” I don’t dare critique the dialogue too hard as some of it is lifted directly from Elmore Leonard. You should be watching this show.

Also, I ended my streak of 47 years without watching Doctor Who. I’ve never really watched it before, but I know that the stuff they’ve done the past few years is supposed to be pretty good. I can’t personally vouch for any of it other than to say that if the first two episodes (I’m American, remember?) of this season are any indication, then this is the best bit of sci-fi on television. By a mile. I don’t know where they found Matt Smith, but this guy is phenomenal and the same can easily be said for The Doctor’s companion Amy Pond, played by Karen Gillan.

I know that no one will need a newbie to tell them the backstory of The Doctor, so I’m not even gonna try. This season’s second episode (the one with the Starwhale) reminded me of the glory days of The Next Generation, and I mean that in an incredibly flattering way. I’ve always liked it when sci-fi goes just a bit beyond ray guns and flying saucers and that is The Doctor to a tee. Seriously, I can’t wait to see what happens next week, especially with -SPOILER ALERT- Winston Churchill and the DALEKS!?! Yeah…this Yank is converted.

And it has one of the coolest themes ever…

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If I’m being honest, “At the foster home my hair was my room” is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time, and might have unseated Andy’s “Look at what I’m doing and go tell somebody it” as the greatest line in Office history. Well played, Erin…well played.

Unfortunately, I can’t find a clip to embed that WordPress will show, so just go here and watch last night’s outing “Secretary’s Day” at nbc.com. Seriously. Now.

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…wait for it…

…of your own SNOW CONE MACHINE!

Awwwwyeah, bitches. Not only is the theater open, so is the concession stand! I don’t know about you, but I find every movie goes better with crushed ice and high fructose corn syrup. We screened Sherlock Holmes for some friends of ours this weekend, and I think I downed like five of those bad boys. Which might segue nicely into my next point…

We got a Wii Fit Plus last night. It’s amazing, but my legs feel like they might fall off today. Strangely enough, the back feels pretty good. This thing is great! It’s got all the stuff a serious workout type (I don’t even know what you people are called) would want (I guess), and all kinds of strength building and balance exercises for the rest of us. It even has yoga!

My favorite parts so far are the things that trick me into exercising. I like the free running, which incidentally has nothing to do with parkour, and I am a natural born ski jumper. Fun fact: Throughout my life, I have always been horrible with a hula hoop. On the Wii? I’m phenomenal. Seriously…I’m knocking on 300 spins right now. I don’t know if that’s really all that impressive but I’ll definitely take it. Especially given my heightened level of physical decay.

CUE THE BULLET POINTS!

-Ben Rothetlelistbhluerger got suspended for six games today. Golly, between missing all those paydays and the sizable check (I would assume) he cut to make this go away, I just know Ben’s learned his lesson this time, right? Right? I suppose it could be worse…he could have had Leonard Little as his getaway driver.

-New trailers this week for the remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street. No. No no no no nonono no no nonononono. No.

-No.

-Since I just ripped off one of the only funny parts of the movie, I’ll tell you that I saw Cop Out this week. And it. Was. Bad. Not “What the fuck is this crap?” bad, but just not good. I’m not gonna do the cool thing and pile on Kevin Smith, though. I still like the guy, and I think he’s got plenty more in the tank (FINISH RED STATE!). Not every director hits a home run every time, and it’s no big deal. I think it just looks rough on Kev because this was the first thing he directed that the didn’t write, and maybe it needed to come off bigger. If I’m not mistaken, it is the highest grossing thing he’s done, so at least we know we’ll get to keep him around for a while. I think his new “hired gun” approach is the way to go. Maybe he just needs a little more time out of the View Askewniverse.

-Watched most of The Crazies this week as well. What the fuck? (See how I took the time to spell that out?) It looked okay, but my god! Why do producers keep thinking horror movie fans are stupid and don’t care about things like writing and acting? And also, since we’re remaking his entire catalog, WHY WON’T ANYONE GIVE GEORGE ROMERO A BUDGET?!? He’s still alive, you know! And working! And a very nice man in person, I must say! I guess I’m just tired of people cashing in on his stuff, but sort of ignoring him. (See also: Englund, Robert.)

-I finally took my first steps into the Doctor Who universe. I’m not sure, but I think I love it. Considering I’ve only seen one episode and a documentary, I’ll withhold judgment for the moment. I think there will probably be a completely Who-centric post coming up over the coming weeks anyway.

I think that’s all.

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So what’s up now? Well, we’re still married (and they said it wouldn’t last!), and I am sooo happy. The TV project that I was working on wound up petering out, so I am currently seeking gainful employment. (I could give you a full post on what went wrong there, and believe me…I may one of these days.) Those of you who know me personally know that I had a nagging legal issue these past couple of years, and I am proud to say that has been taken care of. Seriously, I don’t know that so many things have ever gone right for me at the same time. It’s a nice feeling. Now, if I can just find a job…

Also, we have done one of the cooler things EVER here recently. As you may have figured out, I am a huge, raving movie nerd. I live and breathe celluloid, and the movie collection we have amassed is a couple thousand strong and still growing. The room most of it is stored in is covered in movie posters, filled with toys and memorabilia, and is generally like taking a leisurely stroll through my brain.

And now that room is a movie theater.

A fully functional, PROJECTABLE, movie theater.

We had had the projector for a year or so now, and we had loved setting it up outside and watching movies by our fire cauldron. (“Fire Cauldron,” by the way, would be an awesome band name.) After straightening and cleaning our movie room, we decided that we finally had the space and the stuff we needed to turn it in to our own personal Movie Hole. Seriously…it’s AFUCKINGMAZING! Due to space constrictions, we are projecting just over three feet square, but we can get it up to over six feet should our floor plan change. (Think Sarratt, locals.)

Maybe this doesn’t sound like much to some, but for a guy like me, the ability to sit in my own darkened room, and watch my favorite movies projected from the comfort of my own recliner, well…few things get better than that. I’m sure that over the years we’ll upgrade our sound and projection equipment, but at this exact moment…it’s absolutely perfect.

Now, let’s catch up…BULLET POINT STYLE!

-Christoph Waltz won his Oscar. In related news, there may in fact be a Jesus. Mr. Waltz, I don’t care what you do from now on. You can be in Uwe Boll movies from now until Doomsday, and you will always have a friend in Casey.

-Jeff Bridges got an Oscar, too. I haven’t seen Crazy Heart, and even though I’d like to, I don’t know if I’ll get around to it. All I know is that Jeff Bridges has an Oscar, and that is the natural order of things.

-Jim and Pam had their baby. Can Harold Ramis direct every episode of “The Office” from here on out?

-Seriously, “Parks and Rec” and “30 Rock” are in heated competition for “Funniest Thing on TV Today.” I can hardly wait until fall, when the Perfect TV Storm of NBC’s Thursday Lineup followed by “Always Sunny” happens. That’s the good stuff…

-True Blood returns in June. I. Cannot. Wait. There is an influx of new characters heading to (or around?) Bon Temps this season. Apparently this Alcide fella is something special. Yeah, I still haven’t read the books. I did, however, find out a spoiler about the books once last season ended. I won’t divulge it here, but I will say “FUCK YOU, BILL COMPTON! YOU UNDEAD SON OF A BITCH!” But hey, the show could be different from the books, right? RIGHT? Also, I want this.

-I saw “Port of Call New Orleans.” In a word? CRAP! Nic Cage was good in parts, but only because nobody does unhinged like Nic Cage. But wow…just…wow. I think this might have been the case where a hackneyed script and flat performances lead some one to just edit it in to something as coherent as possible and call it an “art film.” No art here, kiddies…no art here. Or maybe I’ve just outgrown “Art Films.” That’s a possibility.

-I also had the chance to see Duncan Jones’ “Moon.” Ho-Lee shit! I loved, loved, loved this movie. Sam Rockwell proves again that he might be one of the best working actors we have today, giving a performance that was so good and so nuanced that you just knew he would be snubbed by the Academy come nomination time. And he was. But this movie was so good. I can’t recommend it strongly enough.

-I’ve tried to watch “Antichrist” twice. I think I’m done. If you’re gonna sell a movie as being shocking…then maybe I should feel shocked. You know what movie I found shocking? “Boondock Saints II.” I was shocked that it could be that bad. The dropoff in quality from the first one to the sequel is a gap of “Howling” sized proportions. Congrats, Troy Duffy. You came from nowhere, hit the lotto, talked your way out of Hollywood, finally got another chance, and you fucked it up even worse. I can handle somebody being an a-hole…but how DARE you make a bad movie, sir!

Alright, I’m pushing 1,000 words and I haven’t eaten breakfast yet. So, I’m gonna do that now. I feel like I’ve given you enough to process.

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